* NOTICE: due to numerous complaints the British Board for the Proper *
* and Decent Usage of the English Language is monitoring this e-mail. *
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My dearest, 

Sunday is the last official hike of the season, and brings us to Hathersage
of all places. Hathersage, where the silent rocks overlook the noisy
valley. The tsjoek-tsjoek will leave for Hathersage from Piccadilly,
blowing its whistle at 9.55, for at most 5 pounds 90 (that is: without
railcard). I hope the local walkabouts bring us to Hope in time to
catch the 18.20 tsjoek-tsjoek to Piccadilly. I'll the high road, if you
take the low road. (The basic routes can be short cut if the time requires 
us to do so.) 
 
1) [The top of the world walk] Doing the greater part of Stanage Edge
and hopping over to Win Hill. Views into many valleys and onto Ladybower
Reservoir. (short stops-fast-stop)
23km, 600m ascent.

2) [The watersides walk] Following the river Noe to Bamford and then up
to Ladybower Reservoir, around the southside, back over the lowest point
of Hope Ridge to Hope.
18km, 150m ascent.

3) [A bit of everything walk] Following the river Noe southwards to
Grindleford. Up Burbage Brook to Higger Tor and Burbage Rocks. A bit of
Stanage Edge, and down to Bamford, and easing into Hope.
18km, 350m ascent.

4) [Two times up] From Hathersage up Stanage Edge and down again, and up 
Win Hill and down again. Just for the views, a bit of tarmac on the way.
14km, 500m ascent.

At your disposal,
                  Norbert

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Do you remember the day your heart broke? You decided to bring your object
of desire to enhanced surroundings, as you know it. To make out, strictly
PG13, of course. In the hills it started to rain and your love got soaking
wet, went immensely sad and then completely mad. You were asked to travel
home in another train compartment, and the only reason your heart kept
ticking is due to its loyalty to your body above and beyond the call
of duty. Anyway, I know you want to forget this dark episode from your
personal annals, but bring back the f****** (having sexual intercourse,
often as a mere intensive [BBPDUEL]) MAP you borrowed. You know the one;
with Edale, Hathersage, Glossop, and even Sheffield on it: OS number
110, or Outdoor Leisure Map 1: Peak District. (Please)